Reality is not objective. It is an experience uniquely lived by each one of us. Although success in life is inherently a relative concept, our society has created a pre-defined binary for us. By those standards, we either succeed or fail. There is surely plenty of middle-ground, but this grey area is lost in competitive examinations.

The CLAT results have been declared and this contrast between the two ostensibly water-tight compartments – success and failure – is glaringly clear. Those who made it through will celebrate, receive all the attention from everyone, feel validated, and may even forgo humility to blow their trumpet. Their hard work has paid off and they have material evidence of having achieved success.

As an old adage goes, ‘the winners do not talk (although most of these rankers will talk, a lot!) and the losers do not get to talk’. Those who failed to achieve the rank they dreamt of are bound to be shattered. To live with such failure will feel a heavy burden. One may feel that all is lost and there is no respite. Many will be consoled by their friends and family, often making it worse.

As someone who has dealt with a good share of failure, I despise those who try to console. When someone comes by and tells me that it is going to be alright, I know for a fact that they are lying. How can something be alright when the available exhibit suggests that it is not? Then there are those who say that whatever happens is for your best. What. Why. And How! For my best, I needed to ace this exam. I did not. Are you telling me that it was best for me not to get this rank? Thank you, but I wish you had told this when I started preparing for it, not when I failed to make it through.

There will be some who will tell you that it was your destiny. Sure, but I thought I had some control over this destiny. If I did not, what good is my free will and why should I work to achieve anything! And the last attempt to comfort you will be to say that in the long run, it will all make sense. The dots will connect in the hindsight. But isn’t that another hope? What if these dots do not connect? And when does this long run really end? Because as the often-quoted line of Keynes goes, “in the long run, we are all dead.”

Failure hurts. It hurts because we feel a sense of injustice towards us. If I worked as hard as the person who got a top rank, what was it that differentiates me from him? I’ve not only attended all classes that he did, took all the mock tests that he did, but also had the same opportunity and the level-playing field. Yet, I am not where he is. There is no answer to this apparent injustice. Even if there is, it is not convincing enough to simply accept it and move on.

Then there are dreams that we see shattered. One might have hoped to live the glorified life that comes with a top rank. Most of the CLAT aspirants have either seen the pictures of campuses of top law schools or have heard of the experiences of those who lived there for half a decade. Some coaching institutes, in an effort to boost motivation, also play video tours of law school campuses to show what these aspirants are fighting for. This creates an awe and romanticises life at these law schools, which, to a large extent are otherwise as mundane as any other college.

Beyond all this, the most hurtful is to not live up to the expectations of our loved ones. For many of these aspirants, their parents, siblings, and friends had already taken for granted that their next step in life would be to march to a top law school. They haven’t factored failure to be a possibility. For them, their child is doing the best anyone can and is the smartest of his generation. When the results drop on them, they have difficulties in accepting it. Most parents may not make an obvious taunt that their child has disappointed them, but their behaviour is enough to be deeply hurtful to mean that they feel too disgraced. It does not help the situation as they see this child’s friends succeed at the exam.

While I’ve lived through this reality, I have not found any cure for these depressing times. The wisdom, if any, suggests this:

First, you need to accept what has happened. You have not cracked the exam. Period. Attempting to reason out this failure will only make it all worse. There is no logical explanation for either your failure or someone else’s success. Questions as to ‘why’ and ‘how’ have no answers. It has happened because it did.

Second, the odds were never in your favour. You knew even before taking the exam that barely two percent of the candidates would taste success. You hoped to be in that club. But, you aren’t. It was always a tough fight and losing in it was way more probable than to win. Things did not work out for you and that’s the way it is.

Third, you have a long life to live. Those who cracked the exam may have some head start. But there is nothing to say that you cannot do better than them. The college that you go to acts only as a launching pad for good opportunities. But it is not to say that failing to reach such college sets you up for some kind of a second-grade career. I have a friend who failed to crack CLAT twice and went to Amity. She did her moots, debates, internships, and research in college. She then did her masters from a well-known law college in London and is now working at the WTO in Geneva. Another friend of mine has similarly failed twice at CLAT, but went to DES College in Pune, did her internships timely, and is now working at a tier-one law firm alongside the graduates of top NLUs.

Fourth, you are valuable. This is a fact. Never do anything to harm yourself. It becomes too messy to clean it all up, you know, all the blood. And then there will be too much noise with all the loved ones crying. Keep peace and focus on doing well in life. How you react now, when you are the most vulnerable, defines you as a person. Clench your fist, straighten your shoulders, hold tight, and do well wherever you go.

And Fifth, happiness and peace are more important than anything else. This may not be believable now as it is often learnt the hard way. But, it is better to go to a private college and do well there, than to go to a NLU and be bogged by the pressure that comes in a rat race. It’s not a lesson only for CLAT, but for life. No amount of money, fame, and success can compensate for the routine peace of mind and happiness. Pursue that.

These are severely bitter pills for you to swallow, and the void may seem very hopeless. But, time is a great healer. Give it some time. Give yourself some time. You will realise that you are stronger than you thought, and that you are not easily trampled. One failure does not define your life. It should not define your life. Rather, you have the same power to create your own story as you always did. You may not end up as an NLU Alumnus, but you can always be a successful lawyer. A lawyer with such calibre that no one dares question or associate your standing with your alma mater. And for what it’s worth, this success will taste better than the success you were expecting now.

Be brave and keep the hopes up, for your life has only begun!