The CLAT is done! Finally, after months of wait.

I’ve been following CLAT since it started in 2008, although at that time, I wasn’t aware that it was being held for the first time. I took my own CLAT in 2009, and then, a serious attempt in 2010. Once I was out in the clear, it was only a spectacle. But the feelings after each of these CLATs were almost the same. Today, as I write this, I’m going through the same emotions. This is not even Déjà vu, for I certainly know I’ve been here before and I’ve been here so many times that the memory is unmistakably clear.

Out of the seventy thousand that take a shot at CLAT, only about three hundred will reach the top three. Another four hundred will go to tier-two NLUs where they convince themselves of being in the striking distance to the top. And the last five hundred will be given a consolation prize of reaching an NLU, a label that they’ll force themselves to hold with pride. Barring these, a staggering ninety-eight percent will return home empty handed.

The achievements of those who make it will be vastly overstated and hyped. And the disappointments of those who fail will be amplified. For the former, it gives them the pride that they never thought they had. And for the latter, they are made to feel both incompetent and a source of disappointment for their family and friends. We all know how this disappointment has played out with IIT-JEE and NEET. Every year, so many of the migrant students of Kota have resorted to suicide to simply avoid facing their families after failure. They couldn’t take the burden of expectations. A bizarre fix to this was to add sensors to the ceiling fans which detect anyone hanging themselves from it and detach the fan from the ceiling to prevent a suicide.

Recently, I’ve had three students over the last week message me that they have suicidal tendencies. One of them said that getting into a NLU is more than their life because that’s the only way they can prove themselves to be any good. The other said that her cousin has made it through an NLU last year and she wants to do it too, lest she is taunted by her family for not being as good. The third said that his parents sent him to a nearby city with the money they got from selling a housing plot in their town because his father believed that he would crack the exam.

I tried talking to them at length. Made them understand that CLAT is indeed not as big a deal as it is depicted. But you cannot speak reason to someone who only knows CLAT to be the means of their validation. As someone who has had my own fair share of suicidal thoughts, I know for a fact that it is an impulse. People don’t plan it for days. It’s a moment of weakness where life seems to be a burden. Personally, I know better to stay strong and have faith. But that is also because I was lucky to see so much of good I have around me. Not everyone is privileged to be blessed with this. And for someone out there, it can be such an easy escape.

The societal structures – families, friends, schools, and coaching centres – have all glorified the CLAT rank. So many will also make the fatal decision of dropping a year to take another shot at CLAT the next year. When I contemplated doing this myself in 2009, I weighed in a lot.

First, would dropping a year increase my chances of cracking CLAT the next year? All those I spoke to unequivocally told me that it does not. Someone who drops may study for about six hours a day. And there is absolutely no reason that this cannot happen along with first year of law at any law school. The first year students at whichever law school they choose to go will have such less academic pressure that it is quite easy to take the time out to prepare for CLAT. A dropper does not get to study a minute more than a first year law student.

Second, does dropping give you the mental space to focus on CLAT more than a first year law student? Again, no. In fact, I believe the contrary is true. Personally, I am glad that I went to Symbiosis in Pune for a year. I know, with a reasonable certainty, that I’d have fared worse in CLAT with a drop. At my college, I attended my classes, had like-minded friends, and spent my own time preparing for CLAT. It gave so much diversity in life that my CLAT prep became both productive and efficient. I cannot imagine such high concentration for a dropper where there is nothing to do but CLAT, which may eventually feel to be a burden leading to easy saturation.

Third, does the success rate increase when one takes a drop? Negative. In my batch at NALSAR, at least twenty out of seventy who reached there through CLAT did one year of law school elsewhere. A number less than that had dropped. Considering that there are way more number of droppers than first year students taking CLAT, the success rate seems to dramatically favour the first year students.

And fourth, the worst case scenario for a first year student is better than it is for a dropper. When one fails at CLAT, one can simply shrug it off and move on with the second year. There is solace in the fact that they haven’t wasted a year and would graduate one year sooner than others. But the droppers run the risk of generating the same results as the past year. This brings regrets of not joining a college the previous year itself, and also makes them feel that all their time and efforts have gone to waste. Not to mention, the mental pressure this possibility brings when they prepare for CLAT during the drop year can be too high to handle.

All this is, of course, some wisdom I gained in the hindsight. In all honestly, I had not planned to take the CLAT again when I chose to go to Symbiosis. It was only there that I found so many of my batchmates preparing for CLAT that I felt I could join them too. And this hindsight makes me feel incredibly lucky to have made the right choice without as much deliberation or information. With this, I want to remind myself that I must recognise how blessed I’ve been to go down this path, and not mistake my desultory decisions as insightful planning.

I hope that the young CLAT aspirants who faced the exam now have the same fortune in making their future plan of action. Let no one be engulfed with the false sense of confidence and satisfaction. Similarly, I pray that no one considers this exam to be more important than it is to value it remotely as much as their own life.